Language is powerful, we all remember the names have been called to put us down. We love the words that are used to give us power, leave us feeling good about ourselves and make others feel good about who they are.
How we use words is constantly changing. Recently there has been a movement to turn around words that were once used to abuse queer people and give them a positive meaning by reclaiming them. Words like dyke, queer, gay, queen have all been used in an abusive way. Now they are more likely to be used by the queer community as our words we use to describe ourselves as opposed to words that others use to hurt us and condemn our identities. It leaves the abusers with words that have lost their impact and power to hurt. This has meant the power of the words changes from a power that is negative and bad to a power that is good and affirming.
We have to continue to take care how words are used. Recently in New Zealand the word ‘gay’ has been used by straight people, especially young people, to describe something that is not good or not done well, almost as a term of abuse or as a put-down “That song is so gay”. Hopefully the wider community will realise and challenge how the use of the word ‘gay’ is being subverted from having a positive meaning to something meant in a negative way and this misuse of our word will stop.
Gay
Being gay means being physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually attracted to the person of the same sex. The word “gay” was thought to have originated from the first-ever recorded gay rights movement called the “Stonewall” in the USA. The word gay is a shorter version named after a banner “Good As You” during the protest! The term is used for both men and women.
Lesbian
The term “lesbian” is used to describe a woman who is physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually attracted to other women.
Bisexual
The term “bisexual” is use for men and women who are physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually attracted to both sexes. Sexuality is a continuum, and how one places themselves on the continuum is unique to each individual. People who identified as bisexual roughly place themselves at mid-way on this continuum.
Transgender:
The term transgender is an umbrella term for gender diversity. It encompasses individuals who were born in a physical body of the opposite sex to the feelings, emotions, mental and spiritual state that they are. Some individuals use the terms MTF (male-to-female) and FTM (female-to-male) to describe this.
They may go through a transition, deciding to change their physical body to match their inner beings. Gender identity should not be confused with sexual orientation, as anyone of any gender identity may identify as any sexual orientation.
Fa’afafine
A Samoan term which literally means “like a woman”. The term is uses by MTF (male-to-female) transgender women, especially by the colourful Pacifica community.
Takataapui
The term “takataapui” was uses to describe “intimate friends of the same sex” by the first people of this land. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, takataapui, fa’afafine and transgender people who are Maori uses the term “takataapui” to also describe their Maoridom with pride.
Queer
The term “queer” was originally used to describe something or someone that was unusual or challenging. The word queer then came to be used as a term of abuse for gay men and women. It has recently been “reclaimed” by the wider gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community all over the world. People in Aotearoa whom are gay, lesbian, bisexual, takataapui, fa’afafine and transgender now identify themselves as queer with pride.
Drag Queen
The term is uses to describe men who dress up as women purely for entertainment purposes. Often accompany by “high-camp” attitudes and outrageous but glamourous dresses, these ladies are no doubt some of the most colourful beings in the queer community.
Drag King
The term is used to describe women who dress up as men purely for entertainment purposes.
Transvestite
A term used to describe behaviour of a straight man who dresses in women’s garments for their personal pleasure. This sometimes involves sexual expression. Transvestites usually don’t identify themselves as queer. However, a transgender person may start off experimenting in this way as a result of feeling confused about their gender identity.
Growing up queer
For many young queer people, adolescence can be a time of particular anxiety and fear. Many mature queer men and women look back on this part of their lives with sadness and regret. Not because they felt same-sex attraction but because there was very little support for them. There are very few positive queer role models and a lot of hostility towards openly queer people. Queer teenagers can become painfully aware that they are not like other people and many become withdrawn and lonely, convinced that only they are feeling this way. They learn to hide their true feelings or act as others want them to, for fear of being ostracised, ridiculed or rejected by loved ones and friends.
Above all, there can be a sense that we are somehow different, that we are abnormal and that we are going to disappoint people. Some people believe that if they get married their gay feelings will disappear. It is unusual for this to happen. Most store up a great deal of stress and anxiety for their later years. Being true to oneself involves tremendous courage and strength.
Butch
A term used to describe masculine identities, often refering to lesbian women.
Camp
Exaggerated ‘over-the-top’ gestures, styles and emotions.
Closet
Not revealing one's sexual orientation to anyone. “He’s in the closet”, nobody knows he is gay.
Coming-Out
The acts of telling someone (or admitting to yourself) that you are queer. Coming-out is a never-ending process because we are always meeting new people.
Cross-Dressers
A person who dresses in the clothing of the opposite sex. Many people describe themselves as cross-dressers rather than transvestite as they do not derive sexual satisfaction from the dressing. They carry out activity usually to express their femininity.
Dental Dam
A sort of "condom", which is spread over the vagina / the anus for safe stimulation of those parts
Family
A queer person. "Is she family?" in other words “Is she queer?”. The queer community as an alternative family.
Femme
A lesbian woman, acting (more or less) within ‘traditional’ female gender norms. Sometimes used for feminine gay man.
Flaming
Flamboyantly effeminate, busy.
Gay Bashers
People who assault (verbally or physically) others because they are queer. See ‘Homophobia’.
Gaydar
A modification of the word ‘radar’, - the ability to sense that an individual is queer. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Instinct can be a powerful tool, it can also get you in trouble, use with caution!
Gender
A set of cultural interpretations based on the biological differences between male and female.
Heterosexual
A person who is attracted to people of the opposite sex: men who are attracted to women, and women who are attracted to men.
HIV+ (positive)
A person is HIV+ if s/he has been tested for and diagnosed as carrying the HIV disease
HIV- (negative)
A person is HIV- if s/he has been tested for and not diagnosed as carrying the HIV disease
HIV disease
Human Immuno-deficiency Disease. Characterized by a gradual deterioration of immune function. During the course of infection, crucial immune cells called CD4+ T cells are disabled and killed, and their numbers progressively decline. CD4+ T cells play a crucial role in the immune response, preventing and dealing with infections and disease, signaling other cells in the immune system to perform their special functions.
Homophobia
A term used to describe extreme, irrational negative attitudes, feelings, and beliefs about homosexuality. Thus, homophobia can range from feelings of being a bit uncomfortable with someone who is queer to outright hatred and violence. George Weinberg, author of Society and the Healthy Homosexual, coined this word in the early 1970's. It filled a need for a gay people at that time because, in one word, it gave the idea that it was others and not gays themselves, who had a problem.
There is increasing recognition that homophobia affects not only individual queer people but also their non-homophobic peers and associates. An irrational fear of the cosequences of associating with someone who is queer can be described as a ‘phobia / homophobia’. The Human Rights Act, 1993 protects queer people and the associates of queer people from discrimination based on sexual orientation.
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