Julies Full Story

…Seven years ago, when i was thirteen, I finally managed to piece things together, and i came to the conclusion that i should have been a girl

My story is like this,
I had felt that something wasn't right for as long as I can remember, just little incidents that in themselves didn't mean anything to me. I wasn't able to define why they felt not right.

I had never been much of a social person, I had never really known what was expected, and so i was an easy target for those wanting to make themselves feel better. I frankly feared the boys, and the girls didn't want “a guy” in their groups.

Seven years ago, when i was thirteen, i finally managed to piece things together, and i came to the conclusion that i should have been a girl. The concept felt so right, and just finally knowing what had felt wrong for so long was a massive weight off. At that point I was dumb enough not to keep my mouth shut. I told some family members, and I told some people I thought were friends.

My family either thought it was a joke, or did the whole “ if we ignore it, maybe it'll go away” thing. The “Friends” quickly passed it into the local rumor mill. At that time, I had no real information about it, only what I felt and I certainly couldn't describe that with any degree of accuracy. A number of bad things happened that year, and at the end of the school year, I decided that it may be better to stomp on it all, and try to avoid the issue.

That really didn't work. I spent the next six years diving headlong into various things, in order to distract myself. I was getting more and more depressed. At one of the groups I now go to, someone gave another person some advice which at the time seemed fairly contrary, but the more I think about it, the more wise it seems. That advice was “If you don't need to transition, don't “.For me, it came down to (1) Deal with this stuff, Transition. Or (2) Die.

I do not think I am ready to die, before I really get a shot at living...